Great catch by HARRY AND HAWK in a CHICAGO TRIBUNE piece regarding Carlos Zambrano’s caffeine withdrawal (quick answer: not going well). Apparently, Chicago Cubs manager Lou Piniella has been hanging out on Rush Street after the games because he’s spotted an unnerving trend the kids are into:

“I’ve never had Red Bull in my life, but I’ve actually seen people at a bar order Red Bull and vodka. I can’t comprehend that. If I had a couple of those things, I’d be like the malt liquor bull (from the old TV commercials) leaving the bar. My lord.”

Can you believe that? Whatsoever will the kids be into next? Maybe soda in their milk? Gin in their juice? My word!

HARRY AND HAWK provide an example of the Schlitz Malt Liquor bull for the young and/or sober. We happily provide another:

As you can see, it’s classy all the way.

By the way, who is Lou kidding? He’s like the damned Schlitz bull on game day. Does he expect us that it’s because he’s been downing Red Bull and vodkas before the National Anthem? ‘Cause that would be awesome.

However, we have to admit that we wish he had chosen a slightly different example of the fine wares he would sample often in his playing days:

If you had to choose between the two, wouldn’t it be obvious? C’mon, Lou; we’ve got your number.