London Will Leave No Toilet Unturned To The West

We’re barely a month past the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing, which means that the efforts to get London ready for the 2012 games are well underway. London wants to make sure everything is perfect for their return to the world stage, and they want to make sure everybody is happy. Especially all those people who are going to need the bathroom.

You see, when you host an Olympics you aren’t just hosting the games and the athletes who are going to participate in them. You’re also hosting people from all over the world who have come to watch the Olympics, and that means you’re going to have a lot of different cultures and religions to deal with, and you want to do everything you can to make everybody happy. That’s why, to appease all the Muslims who will be visiting the country for the games, London has decided to make sure that their toilets do not face Mecca.


Toilets which do not face the holy Islamic city of Mecca are among a raft of design principles announced today aimed at making London’s Olympic Park the most inclusive and accessible so far.

An ODA spokeswoman said “a percentage of general toilets will not face Mecca” out of sensitivity. The numbers have not yet been confirmed.

Special washing facilities linked to prayer rooms are also planned for the Park, set in multiculturally diverse east London.

And now the fundamental difference between Islam and Christianity has come to the surface. While Muslims will not pray while sitting on the porcelain god, Christians tend to pray to the porcelain god after having too much wine. Maybe now we can finally put an end to the bitterness and tension between these two religions.

Of course, this news from London also hurts the city of Chicago’s bid to host the games in 2016. The early plans for Chicago’s Olympic toilets called for a statue of Mike Ditka Jesus in every one.