Leno: "The Pacific Coast Highway has a huge boulder blocking the road. The highway is closed. It’s the size of a house and weighs over a million pounds. Workers can’t roll it away. They’re afraid to blow it up. Luckily today, Barry Bonds and Jose Canseco came by, picked it up and carried it off the road."
"This year the Dodgers have asked me to appear on Opening Day to throw out the first needle."
"Have you been following this steroids scandal? This is unbelievable. This is the first time in baseball history the players have more additives in them than the hot dogs."
Update by Paul Katcher: Get in the spring training groove with Joe Sports Fan’s Worthless Baseball Card Collection, including Jim Leyland’s stovetop hat that gains three inches with each losing season, and an action shot of Greg Luzinki processing carbohydrates.
Looks like he’s hunting down a tray of hot dogs in Section 3.