Leno: "Tomorrow night the Lakers will p…

Leno: "Tomorrow night the Lakers will play at home. Not at the Staples Center. They’re just going straight home. What’s the point? As you know, the Lakers were officially eliminated from the playoffs. Don’t tell Kobe’s wife. She still thinks he’s going on those road trips." "This is bad news for all the other teams in the NBA. They were hoping to play the Lakers in the playoffs. Now they’ve got to face a good team."
"Do you know the most popular cheer for Lakers fans these days? Go Dodgers!"

Johnny Damon to Leno on his new book, "Idiot: Beating the Curse and Enjoying the Game of Life": "My mom did not approve of (the title “Idiot”), but genius just doesn’t ring the same bell."

Idiot? Damon should give himself some credit. He did escape the Kansas City Royals, didn’t he?