Leno: "After four years of negotiations…

Leno: "After four years of negotiations with the city of Chicago, the Chicago Cubs are going to expand Wrigley Field and install almost 2,000 new seats. This will increase the potential number of fans who can reach out, catch a ball and keep them out of the World Series."

"Sports moron Jose Canseco’s book about steroids in baseball is the number one best-selling book in the country, and Jose says he’s totally pumped up about it."