• As LeBron gets ready to host “Saturday Night Live” (is that show still on?), Jeff Gordon of FOX SPORTS races in to tell these celebrity athletes, “Don’t quit your day job“:

• And when King James isn’t starring in lame skits, he’s teaming up with Russian racketeer Maria Sharapova to help fight poverty.

• STORMING THE FLOOR gives away news that NBA star Carmelo Anthony is in a charitable mood these days.

• FAN IQ has their boogie fever bought out, as Chad Johnson’s next end zone dance will be brought to you by GoDaddy:

• Speaking of Ocho Cinco, we finally have a winner in his Yahoo-sponsored Touchdown Celebration Showdown.

• ALL-AMERICAN PATRIOTS quenches our thirst, as Kevin Durant becomes the first-ever NBA rookie to sign a deal with Gatorade.

• MR. IRRELEVANT feels the anger rising within, as Redskins RB Clinton Portis just wants the damn ball:

• FIRE JOE MORGAN doesn’t find it Natural that the Rangers would play that song after a Sammy Sosa homer.

• RUMORS AND RANTS just won’t let some things go, as Vince Young is still miffed about not winning the Heisman.

• With the NBA season not too far away, THE BLOWTORCH pays tribute to the finest basketball stashes ’staches:

• CAN’T STOP THE BLEEDING gets the poop on the pigeon problem at Paul Brown Stadium.

• These just won’t stop: AZ SPORTS HUB finds the latest “Leave Britney Alone!!!” video spoof - this time, in support of benched Bears QB Rex Grossman.