A couple of weeks back, Brooks brought us the latest disgusting situation hockey agent/coach David Frost has found himself in. To recap: Frost allegedly directed some of his players (who were teenagers) to participate in group sex with the other players and their girlfriends (who were also underage), all while Frost watched and sometimes participated himself. Not surprisingly, this has led to Frost getting arrested and put on trial.

(Pretty easy to see how you could get under his spell, right?)

As the trial came to a close yesterday, the Canadian government (which they call “the Crown” when it comes to court proceedings — how cute) says that Frost had such a psychological hold over his players that they had to ask his permission before having sex with their girlfriends. The players, for what it’s worth, have refused to testify against their “mentor.” And while all of this is fascinating stuff, the key argument of Frost’s defense is a real doozy. Even that crazy lawyer Annie Potts plays on Law & Order wouldn’t try to pull this one off.

According to the CANADIAN PRESS, Frost’s lawyer is claiming that multi-way sexual exploits among hockey players and their ladyfriends is just as common as growing a playoff beard. Ugh:

The defence said… that sex involving, three, four or even five people happens in hockey and wasn’t unique to the Hawks, the now defunct team Frost coached in eastern Ontario in the 1990s.

Lawyer Marie Henein, who forwarded the argument that group sex is commonplace among players, told the court that “hockey is not on trial.”

“(Group sex) may not be a good thing, it may not be a nice thing … but it’s a thing and Mr. Frost didn’t invent it.”

I mean, who doesn’t know about Sidney Crosby’s weekly orgy with Evgeni Malkin, Marc-Andre Fleury, and a gaggle of flaxen-haired Pennsylvania Dutch girls in the Igloo locker room on Sundays? These things just happen in hockey. Alex Ovechkin has a three-way between periods on game nights. Quit acting like you’re all surprised, there, Canada.

Henein, who must just feel spectacular about having to discuss all this at length, adds that the girlfriends were also to blame, since they’re obviously total sluts:

She suggested the women, as 16-year-old girls, were not as naive as the Crown suggested and instead were game to try out new sexual activities.

“I truly wish that we lived in a `Leave It to Beaver’ world,” she said. “(But) teenagers are not eight- or nine- or 10-year-old children.”

So, there you go. Good luck with that, jury. The “all hockey dudes love group sex and all 16-year-old girls want to get in on that too” argument is a pretty convincing one, but we leave it in your hands.