Lawrence Phillips Can’t Elude 10-Year Sentence

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what you’d call a “bust”. Former NFL running back Lawrence Phillips, draft sixth overall back in 1996 by the St. Louis Rams, was sentenced to 10 years behind bars yesterday, putting the finishing touches on his ‘06 conviction for “seven felony counts of assault with a deadly weapon”. To translate in NonLawyerSpeak, that means “driving a car at a group of boys and young men after a pickup football game near the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, hitting three of them.”

Lawrence Phillips in court

To give you a refresher: Phillips, named the 2nd biggest draft bust of all-time behind Ryan Leaf in a recent ESPN article, ran over the boys after playing them in a pickup football game. Evidently he was upset because he lost to them, which is kind of hilarious in itself. Not so hilarious: giving the victims injuries they’ll have for the rest of their lives.

Oh well, at least he’s sorry.

More from the AP:

In court, Phillips tearfully apologized to one of the victims.

“I’m sorry that your leg is messed up,” Phillips told Rodney Flores, after hearing the young man tell the court that he was unable to pursue his dream of playing high school sports as a result of being hit when he was 16.

“I’m sorry you have to come in here like this,” Phillips said, adding that he “wanted the chance to say I didn’t mean to hurt people.”

Superior Court Judge George G. Lomeli said Phillips should have thought about what he did.

Good thing he’ll now have plenty of time to think about it, you know, with the 10 years behind bars. While he’s at it, he can use the time to perfect his re-telling of his football career. Maybe when he gets out, he’ll have worked on it enough to have the same poetic quality as a certain graduate of Polk High:

(And yes, that’s the biggest stretch of an excuse you’ll ever see in order to run a Married with Children clip.)