Lance Armstrong Riding Back Out Of the Sunset

Looks like Americans are once again going to care about skinny men riding bicycles through the mountains of France: Lance Armstrong is giving up his nightly outings with Matthew McConaughey to return to the world of cycling.

Lance Armstrong

The plan is thus: Armstrong, who turns 37 this month, will race in the Amgen Tour in California, Paris-Nice, the Tour de Georgia and the Dauphine-Libere before returning to the Tour de France next year, which he’s already dominated 7 times. The best part about it? According to MSNBC, he’ll be doing it “for no salary or bonuses”. Just for the pure love of the game.

But what about all of these steroids controversy engulfing the sport of cycling?


Sources also told Velo News that Armstrong will post all of his internally tested blood work online to prove that he’s clean.

And you better believe his website will be the first thing we look at in the morning. We are extremely concerned about the contents of Lance Armstrong’s urine. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have a bundle of multi-colored “Live Strong” bracelets we have to get out of the attic, dust off, and stick back on our wrists before they become hacky again.