The Man Controlling Most Valuable Tix In Sports

A reminder from the LA TIMES: Los Angeles is not like where you live. While CPAs, real estate barons, and financial advisers with suspiciously gifted spouses may settle into floor seats for your favorite team to rub shoulders (or have them injured) with the athletically famous, Lakers seats are part of a multi-platform product launch, skewing to male 18-34 demos with disposable income.

Lindsay Lohan at Lakers game

(They’re also a huge ego trip. Say hi to the cameras you totally didn’t see there! I think the Lakers are the ones in yellow.)

If you want to reinforce your brand, remind your manager you’re alive, or (heaven forbid) see a Lakers game up close, the man to contact is Lakers SVP of business operations Tim Harris. (Assuming, of course, no studios want you in their seats, you’re dead to CAA, and Sony’s West Coast VP of acquisitions has never forgiven you for schtupping his daughter within TMZ camera view.)

Harris is the Lakers’ official VIP fixer, arranging last-minute tickets for the high and/or mighty that want a certain amount of presence and/or face time on the Jumbotron. Lose a parking pass? Need an invite to the private bar under the Staples Center? Want an opportunity to trip your own Spur? Contact Mr. Harris. (If you have to ask for his contact info, you’re not famous enough. Sorry.)

As much as we love the regular peek behind the scenes in NBA arenas, we’re more fascinated by what we can’t get out of this piece: Clippers owner Donald Sterling’s reaction. After all, his entire has been devoted to being photographed with as many celebrities as possible. How much does it kill him to be reminded yet again that he has to round up the homeless to be noticed in that town?

He could probably regale you with tales about the time Billy Crystal took a photo with him and signed a bat with “61* - *You wish you were this young! Love, Billy”. However, we wonder if he could name the 15-man rosters even if we spotted him Brevin Knight and Dan Dickau.

We can’t wait until Baron Davis receives an oversized paycheck to be a Clipper. Then between Elton Brand, Davis, and Sterling, every key member of the franchise can be a Clipper for reasons unrelated to basketball. The Clippers: your first choice for a second job.