Kris Benson’s MLB Return Is Nigh, Which Means…

Journeyman baseball pitcher Kris Benson missed all of 2007 with an injury, and his setbacks have been numerous this year during his comeback with the Philadelphia Phillies. He threw in extended spring training earlier this week and will throw Sunday for Philly’s Single-A Clearwater Threshers, reports the PHILADELPHIA DAILY NEWS. So he could be back in the rotation soon. That’s nice. But also…

Anna Benson, because I can

(I’ve been told that if you stare at this long enough you can find Kris.)

That’s right, it’s the attention-starved wife, Anna Benson! Remember her? It’s hard to remember, what with Kobe Bryant’s Laker Girl rumor and A-Rod’s muscular stripper and exactly 46 other notable shapely dames tempting today’s fine young athletes. But Anna Benson’s comeback to celebrity-dom may also be near.

“Comeback? Was she ever really there to begin with?” Well, we’re using these terms loosely for the sake of argument. I also call myself a journalist, a licensed surgeon and an all-night lover. Just try to keep up.

Remember her old website? Gold digger something-or-other? Me neither, but we’ve established that she did in fact have a website, right? Okay, good. I didn’t want to go look up some ancient, HTML-FUBARed Google Cache. Anyways, that site’s not there anymore, and all we see is this foreboding splash screen:

anna benson's website, coming soon

Anna Benson Enterprises. Oh boy, this is gonna be good.*

* - “Good” quality contingent on how many new pictures of Anna appear on the site.