Thanks to THE BIG LEAD being caught in the dentist’s office yesterday afternoon for two hours and being forced to read whatever was in the magazine rack (or so we assume), we hear that US WEEKLY has the scoop on Kobe Bryant’s manicure/pedicure before Game 2 of the NBA Finals in Boston.

(We’d wear this if we could)

Why don’t you tell us about it, chatty nail tech?

“He started doing his pedicure around 5 p.m. He was watching the movie ‘21′ and he got on his couch… (he’s) really concerned about the appearance of his hands and feet… He told me he tries to get mani-pedis on a regular basis!”

We’ll get to the illusory threat to our collective manhood in a bit. Honest. However, we love the hidden detail more:

Kobe Bryant chose to watch a movie about a brilliant man in his prime dragging a bunch of snot-nosed kids into his hare-brained scheme to fool the system and make millions? Kobe must have spent the whole treatment kvetching to the nail tech that Kevin Spacey was too short and bald to play him.

Back to the spa treatment writ small: if Scott Speed can use a pedicure to win truck races and Kobe can use them to be the best player in the NBA (and the snake pool), what the hell are we waiting for? We’ll take one of those mani-pedis, a haircut, and that thing where you apply soap and water to your body… a shower? Yeah. One of those.