Kaz Matsui’s Latest Injury A Real Pain In The A**

The latest injury to befall Kaz Matsui is a real pain in the butt - literally.

Kaz Matsui

(Kaz readies himself for a check-up)

The HOUSTON CHRONICLE reports that the Astros’ 2nd baseman will be out four to five days after being diagnosed with an “anal fissure”.

Wait, a what?

Well, according to WebMD, an anal fissure is “a tear in the lining of the lower rectum (anus) that causes pain during bowel movements.” How does such an injury happen?

Anal fissures are caused by vigorous stretching of the anal canal. A fissure may develop if you are constipated and try to pass a large, hard stool; if you don’t relax your anal muscles (sphincter muscles) during a bowel movement; or sometimes after repeated diarrhea.

What has Kaz been eating? Anyway, such an injury sounds painful and embarrassing. But is it worse than teammate Hunter Pence jumping through a sliding glass door?