Jogging is evil. Jogging is bad for you. Jogging makes you feel fit and cocky and puts you in all kinds of danger that sitting on your couch, watching the Cubs game, and chugging a gallon of chocolate milk cannot. Jim Fixx foisted jogging on an unsuspecting world and then dropped dead of a heart attack while jogging. Seriously, stop jogging.
You need more proof? Jogging opens you up to kangaroo attacks. One fellow outside Melbourne had no chance of accidentally getting between a boy kangaroo and a girl kangaroo until he got the bright idea to jog. Then he’s pulling talons from his body and fleeing for his life while shrieking like a small child. Good thing he had on running shoes, right?
WRONG. No running shoes, no jogging. No jogging, no danger. Jogging is evil.
(This is not video from the attack, but all kangaroo attack stories deserve video. Especially if it’s narrated by Sheriff John Bunnell)
Also, if you’re not out jogging, you can stay in and watch Tennessee-UCLA with us tonight. Brooks will be at the Rose Bowl with divine company and we’ll be posting pictures, comments, and zero jogging exploits during the evening. See you back here at 8 pm ET/5 pm PT for a marsupial-free evening.