My first reaction on hearing that a Cincinnati man was arrested for having sex on a jungle gym (”Please be Cedric Benson, please be Cedrick Benson, please be Cedric Benson …”) was uncalled for, and I apologize. It was actually a man named Douglas Cooper, who will surely now have his own chapter in the Kama Sutra.
Was there ever a more pointless and confusing invention than the jungle gym? “Hey Bob, these kids are getting on my nerves. Let’s weld together some pipes in haphazard fashion and encourage them to climb at dangerous heights.” But I’m sure it was never envisioned as a sexual apparatus. That’s just wrong.
The incident happened just before midnight Saturday. Police said they saw a man and a woman on top of one another on a jungle gym. Both were naked, Lincoln Heights police said. They said Douglas Cooper, 22, was arrested on one count of public indecency. They also said that Cooper tried to give them a false name, and charged him on an obstruction count, as well.
Why the woman wasn’t also charged with indecency is shrouded in mystery. Perhaps she escaped? “She’s getting away, Larry! She’s going down the curly slide!” Anyway, all of Cincinnati’s playground equipment is now going to have to be hosed down with hot water. The teeter totters, the roundabouts, and especially this.