Lawyer Wins Landmark A’s Floppy Sun Hat Case

Alfred G. Rava, the Grinch Who Stole Mother’s Day, is $50 richer this week after winning a discrimination lawsuit he brought against the Oakland A’s. Rava was miffed after the A’s gave out floppy Mother’s Day sun hats during a 2004 promotion, and he didn’t get one. Oh, did I mention that Rava is a lawyer?

A judge has given preliminary approval to a $510,000 settlement for those who can prove that they were among the first 7,500 fans attending that game, and didn’t get a hat. Claimants will receive $50 each, two-for-one A’s tickets and a $25 Macy’s coupon — plus the comforting knowledge that ESPN’s Rick Reilly has written a column about the whole thing. That latter is as good as currency in El Salvador and Maldives.

You’ve got until June 25, 2009, to claim your swag.

So how many guys have lined up to get their rightful floppy-hat-equivalent payment that was stolen from them by those selfish Mother’s Day-manipulating women? “Well, I haven’t taken a single call so far,” said the 1-888 operator at the firm handling claims. “And I’m here just about every day.”

A’s fans are not just ignoring Rava in droves; they’re pissed. “The entire settlement should be donated to the Breast Care Center at UCSF,” says A’s fan Ben Huber. “No good deed goes unpunished.”

As it turns out, Rava has pretty much made a career out of such reverse-discrimination lawsuits. In a 2003 case, he and other men sued Club Med, who offered $400 discounts on airfare to women, and not men. Rava, a San Diego “men’s rights activist,” has been the plaintiff or the attorney in 40 similar cases.

Well, that’s it for me for today; gotta go. Now where did I put my purse?