We are on constant José Lima watch. We set our Google News alerts to Defcon Lima. Our timepiece runs on Lima Time. (Do not expect us to arrive in a timely fashion. Or effectively.) We would stop CPR on a wounded orphan to watch him pitch batting practice to Little Leaguers.

Why, you ask? Why on Earth would we waste our time with a career 5.26 ERA that parlayed two good years in the late 90s into a career far more lucrative than he ever merited? First, we’ll look for any excuse to run this picture again:

We often forget while viewing this picture (for rather obvious reasons) that he’s singing the National Anthem. Like, on purpose. With a microphone. To others. Not in a bar at 1:30 am. He has a monitor in his ear as if it would help.

So what’s José Lima been up to over the last year or so? EAST WINDUP CHRONICLE found him in Korea, doing what comes best to José Lima:

Did we mention how much we love Lima Time?

José Lima is wildly entertaining off the field while he’s laying napalm down on his team on the field. He taunted his opponents during his few victorious moments. He once was sued for giving a woman herpes. And lost. (Take that, Ron Mexico!)

He is everything that baseball wishes he wasn’t and unapologetically so. He always needed baseball more than it needed him, but it was a lot closer than most people would think. Also, like every sportswriter, we’re a sucker for a good quote.