Ever since Jose Canseco stopped playing baseball he’s been known for two things: ratting out other baseball players who have done steroids, and getting the crap beat out of him in boxing rings or cages. Canseco started out getting into a bunch of “celebrity” fights but then decided that getting his butt kicked by D-listers wasn’t challenging enough, so he made the logical decision to move on to fighting real MMA fighters.
Well, Canseco got taken down by a 7-foot tall Korean named Hong Man Choi and apparently he’s realized that fighting other celebrities is probably the safer route. Which is why his next bout is scheduled for July 24 at Damon Feldman’s Celebrity Boxing 10. Though it’s looking like Canseco may not have to fight this battle alone because it seems that his girlfriend, poker player Heidi Northcott, wants some time in the squared circle herself.
So Jose Canseco and five-time Wing Bowl champion Bill “El Wingador” Simmons are set to fight July 24 in Damon Feldman’s Celebrity Boxing 10, and now Canseco’s girlfriend, poker pro Heidi Northcott, is seeking a challenger. The 5-foot-3, 110-pound blond beauty will take on a female challenger under 120 pounds. Interested women can e-mail Feldman at celebrityboxing@ gmail.com.
Wait a second, Jose Canseco is fighting Bill Simmons!? Then why is his girlfriend fighting in a separate match? Why not get a tag-team fight between Canseco and Northcott against The Sports Guy and The Sports Girl? Oh, it’s not that Bill Simmons, it’s this one.
Well, then nevermind.
(Heidi’s handfuls certainly measure up to these pretty poker pairs)
Since Heidi is apparently looking for somebody to take her on inside the ring, I figured we at SbB could help her out. Now it’s a celebrity event, so that does limit our options. But I’m thinking Shawn Johnson would be a great idea.
(Shawn with her mom)
Shawn’s under 120 pounds and she’s no doubt got some anger she wants to work out, so we can just tell her that Northcott writes for THE ONION. Loser gets euthanized.