Jose Canseco To Fight Rodney King. No, Honestly

There is a part of us that wants to believe Jose Canseco and take him seriously. He was right about A-Rod using steroids and right about Manny Ramirez using them. If you want to see what blackballing looks like, check out Canseco and the way the sport and its press treat him.

Jose Canseco Rodney King

(Just a reminder: a horrific beating at the hands of the LAPD is literally the only reason you know who Canseco’s opponent is.)

But with “Jose Canseco, Oracle of Steroids” also comes “Jose Canseco, Comically Tragic Sideshow,” unfortunately. And the problem with having no sense of decency is that making money becomes a matter of shocking people into paying attention. How would one accomplish that, you might ask? Oh, how about a fistfight with the guy whose only claim to fame is being the victim of an assault that led to the L.A. Race Riots? Because that’s actually seriously happening.

Yes, as CAGE WRITER is reporting, it’s Jose Canseco… vs. Rodney King. Sigh.

Rodney King, made famous for taking a beating by the Los Angeles Police Department, will reportedly try to give a beating to Jose Canseco, the fallen-from-grace baseball player, in Philadelphia on September 12. Seriously.

Canseco has two boxing matches under his belt, getting knocked out by Vai Sikahema and a draw with child star and radio personality Danny Bonaduce. He also has one loss in MMA, in which he lost to 7′2″ Hong Man Choi in less than two minutes.

Wow, excellent. We can’t wait for the undercard, starring Stephon Marbury vs. Jose Canseco’s ex-wife, refereed by the dessicated corpse of Mills Lane.

There’s so much that’s flatly unacceptable about this bout that frankly, we’re at a loss on where to begin. King is a 44-year-old who is battling alcoholism and is probably in no shape to fight “professionally,” even against a joke of a fighter like Jose Canseco. There’s no good reason for this to happen.

And look, as H.L. Mencken famously wrote, “nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public,” and you will go cross-eyed trying to think of anybody who has ever disproven that. We get it. There’s lots of people who can enjoy a trainwreck that devolves into a fistfight. It happens and whatever.

But COME ON. There’s got to be a better way for these two guys to earn a little coin. Doesn’t anybody have any raking they can do, or a basement that needs to be reorganized? Anything? Please don’t let this fight happen.