CANSECO TRIES TO INJECT SELF ON DANCING WITH STARS: Steroid Nation updates us on the whereabouts of Jose Canseco’s enlarged extremities, and his brazen (and futile) attempt to land a spot on this season’s ABC show “Dancing With The Stars”.

Last season Canseco glommed onto “alleged” friend Mario Lopez in an attempt to gain entry into the final episode post-party (he was denied entry but snuck in, was kicked out and wormed his way back in again).

Upon exiting, Canseco bulled his way to the front of the paparazzi line, in a ham-fisted attempt to drum up publicity for a spot on the show.

The blog Gaslamp Ball has the results of his endeavor: “The plan obviously didn’t work as Clyde the Glide and the speed skater are strutting their stuff on network TV while Canseco tries to figure out if he really is just destined to do softcore porn.”

Speaking of devastation (and its slap-happy results), here’s a YouTube gem in which Canseco recounts in chilling detail (with violent facial twitches covered by sunglasses) his Hurricane Katrina “experience” - which apparently took place in his Los Angeles condo watching CNN.