• JOHAN SANTANA’S DAD SCORES SERIOUS SCHWAG IN S.F.: The ST. PAUL PIONEER-PRESS reports on the Twins’ three-player contingent (and family) going hog wild for free merch at the All-Star Game.

Apparently MLB filled a “room full of merchandise from its vendors and allowed each player to take whatever they liked.” And we’re not talking about the throwaway crap on the Venice Beach Boardwalk: “The shopping bazaar included electronic equipment, sunglasses, luggage, jerseys, and all sorts of baseball apparel.”

Justin Morneau snagged an Apple TV. Torii Hunter grabbed a video iPod, but it was Johan Santana’s dad who had the real haul. Santana: “Last year, people bring you what you ask for. This year, everything’s there and you just keep bringing and bringing stuff. My dad went crazy. I don’t think we can put all the stuff in the plane.”

• Dan Steinberg of the best Blog-based TV show on Comcast we know (we kid) reports that Lonny Baxter, who was cuffed and stuffed for unloading a Glock a couple blocks from the White House (and even closer to Dick Cheney’s bunker?), think it’s a good idea to ship the same sidearm via FedEx - along with a Bushmaster Rifle.

• LEAVE THE MAN ALONE nails Dan LeBatard’s corpulent carcass to the floorboards, catching Ricky Williams’ favorite smoking buddy in a Bill Clinton-esque defense after he said “ESPN is full of sexual harassment,” and claiming Harold Reynolds hit on two of his girlfriends.

LeBatard? Girlfriend? GIRLFRIENDS?!

• SLEEP DIRT has the best piece we’ve seen on the fall of the ESPN empire as a sports reporting entity. And more importantly, it comes from a non-media member, the type of person who actually pays the bills in the sports business.

• The KANSAS CITY STAR reports the do-nothing marketing toadies at the Univ. of Wisconsin are going Glasgow Bus Station over the use of the school’s logo by various high schools (mind you, only schools which start with the letter “W”).

Meanwhile, K-State licensed the use of its Powercat logo to an Iowa school for less than the cost of a pouch of Skoal Bandits (yes, we are talking rural Iowa).

• The NEW YORK POST reports Boomer Esiason is the new morning man for WFAN-AM, taking over Don Imus’ mud-stained microphone.