Joe Girardi: Baby Ruth Can Go Straight To Hell

The Red Sox are in trouble.

What’s that you say? Yeah, we know, on the surface, things aren’t so peachy for the Yankees at the moment. A-Rod is injured and Hank Steinbrenner is becoming a media-borne boil on the backside of baseball operation.

Cubs Candy Bar

(The REAL reason for the Cubs’ century-long losing streak)

But manager Joe Girardi remains undaunted, and he showed this weekend just how serious he is about doing whatever it takes to win the World Series.

Peter Abraham of the WESTCHESTER JOURNAL-NEWS reports that Girardi has finally figured out what the key is to bringing a pennant to the Bronx in 2008:

The Yankees contacted the visiting clubhouse manager of every stadium where they play and asked that the candy and ice cream be removed before the team comes to town.

All clubhouses have an assortment of candy, gum, sunflower seeds, ice cream and other goodies. Personally, it never has made sense to me. Why would you provide professional athletes with junk food?

The players, of course, aren’t too pleased. They’re used to M&Ms and Snickers bars. The clubhouse in Tampa Bay replaced all the candy with nuts, dried fruit and granola. It was hilarious to watch as guys smuggled in candy bars and ate them furtively at their lockers.

No wonder the club had fallen on hard times. If only they had embargoed the Zero bars earlier, Joe Torre might still have job.