Jeter Goes Back To School For Latest Ladyfriend

Ah, the rituals of spring. The flowers are sprouting, the weather’s warming up, and Derek Jeter has a new girl. And oddly enough, she’s not even famous! I guess you can only date so may Maxim Hot 100 girls before you get bored.

Derek Jeter

According to the NEW YORK DAILY NEWS’ GATECRASHER, Jeter has turned in Minka Kelly for a newer model, a 22-year-old college student. It’s adorable! He’s introducing her to Tiger Woods, she’s playing his voicemails for her friends, and he’s giving her a sore butt. Wait, what?

The new alleged conquest is a senior and marketing major at Fashion Institute of Technology in New York. And while no pictures have yet surfaced, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess she’s hotter than anyone you’ll ever talk to.

The girl — whom we’ll let remain nameless —  “plays his voice-mails for her friends. They all think it’s adorable that Derek calls himself ‘DJ’ on the messages.”

Oh, DJ!

While Jeter has mostly kept a tight lid on his relationships — he has dated Mariah Carey, Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel — he doesn’t seem to be hiding the blond F.I.T. gal. “He took her to a party at Underbar and introduced her to some of his friends, like Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods. She was awestruck,” our snitch says.

In addition, “she told him she wanted a tighter butt, so he got her a friends-and-family discount to a gym he goes to and offered to help her work on it. The next day, she was telling everyone how sore she was from their workout.”

Workout. Sure.

I can’t believe he landed another girl with his awful pickup line, previously chronicled as “What are your hopes? What are your dreams?” But when you’re Derek Jeter, your pickup line can be “I’m Derek Jeter” and you’re golden.