Jessica Canseco’s Mammaries Key More Memories

If you thought you’d heard the last from Jessica Canseco’s breasts, you would be wrong, sir.

Jessica Canseco

NEWSDAY reports today on C.J. Nitkowski’s testimony to congressional investigators which may pin down Roger Clemens at the 1998 party scene described by Brian McNamee.

And more importantly, give us all keen insight into the nude sunbathing habits of Jose Canseco’s wife Jessica.


According to Nitkowski, Clemens told him a story several years ago in which Jose Canseco’s then-wife, Jessica, was sunbathing topless in the backyard before a party. Clemens, according to Nitkowski, mentioned to Canseco that she probably should cover up before people arrive.

If that isn’t clear evidence that Congress is out for our best interests, we don’t know what is. With this news, we have now concluded that this investigation is truly about cleaning up baseball from the dangers of PEDs. And not some half-assed goose chase to nail Clemens for a whole lot of nothing.

The only question we have left is when will oversight commitee nose hair chair Henry Waxman subpoena Dow Corning officials for a thorough analysis of Ms. Canseco’s naughty bits?