• Jenna Jameson happily announces that she’ll soon deliver a new li’l Tito (or Titoette) Ortiz into the world.

(DVD obsolescence would be good for her adolescent)

• Did Tony La Russa stop Bruce Springstreen from stepping on the St. Louis stage on time?

• The FBI is looking into Lindsey Hunter’s involvement in some shady suburban housing shenanigans.

• NBC notes nothing about a gold medal-winning Aussie diver’s alternative lifestyle.

• The LPGA demands that all their players learn to speak English good.

• Jason Kidd nixes Nike and signs with a Chinese shoe maker instead.

• Even with the Olympic b-ball gold medal back in American hands, Coach K still says he stinks.

• Taking a bite out of Mike Tyson’s & that Tajikistani boxer’s playbook, a Welsh rugby player chomps off an opponent’s earlobe.

• An Oklahoma basketball player’s pit stop in the bushes turns into an “outrage of the public decency“.

• You’re guaranteed to have fun during Stanford’s home football slate this season, or your money back!