• THE SCORES REPORT has no problem getting behind beach volleyball vixen Jenelle Koester.

• SEAN’S RAMBLINGS gets chills from Pascal Dupuis’ performance as the Penguins’ locker room iceman.

• Michael Klein of the PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER has the swashbuckling news that ex-Sixers owner Pat Croce will be working with Steven Spielberg on a new pirate movie.

• DEUCE OF DAVENPORT uncovers news that one of the prostitutes in Max Mosley’s Nazi sex scandal was actually the wife of a British secret service agent.

• 100% INJURY RATE drives over word Tom Brady didn’t actually buy brand new Audis for his Pats’ linemen.

• While the Pens & Flyers plan a game at Penn State, NEW YORK NEWSDAY reports that Gary Bettman is getting cold feet over an outdoor NHL game at Yankee Stadium.

• Speaking of the ballpark, THE BIZ OF BASEBALL chows down on how those $5 Nathan’s dogs & $9.50 Budweisers really add up - to the total of $188 million in revenue.

• SLAM ONLINE can’t decide about the Spurs’ Robert Horry - hard-playing defender or cheap shot artist?