Olympic gold-medalist swimmer Janet Evans has been working intensely in the gym for the last two months: 35 hours a week of immersive training and brutal workouts to get herself in shape for this summer’s showcase event on NBC. Evans herself said, “I wanted to prove to myself that I could be an athlete out of the water.”

And so she shall when she takes on the ultimate athletic test: attempting circus tricks in “Celebrity Circus“, a judged reality show competition against such athletic greats as Wee Man, Christopher Knight, and Antonio Sabato, Jr.… wait, what? Did Jason Taylor forget to charge his cell phone again?

Uhm… Janet? We’re sure it’s hard work and all, but… prove you’re an athlete against Bobby Brady? We believe that’s more of a belly flop than an athletic event. We don’t need you to skip this to protect our fragile memories of a lithe Janet cutting through the still Seoul pool or anything so dramatic. However, we do humbly request you call it what it is: a circus.

If only there was a clown attached to it… ah, there he is.

(And when will NBC stop bringing back the 70s and 80s? After all, this is just “Circus of the Stars” without the stars. “Knight Rider”, “Bionic Woman”, “American Gladiators”, “Saturday Night Live”… let them all die gracefully already, please.)