So, Charles Barkley, Stuart Scott & Mr. Belding walk into a bar…

• Drunken Jaguars DB Brian Williams rants & raves & threatens arresting officers - then offers them to have sex with his date.

• A pair of Portland State basketball players were accused of brutally beating a tour worker in Mexico.

• When out on the course nowadays, John Daly needs to have his nipples kneaded.

• Diners get medieval in trying to obtain Rashard Lewis’ autograph.

• Dodgers 3rd base coach Larry Bowa goes ballistic for being boxed in.

• Maria Sharapova would rather spend her April in South Carolina than in snowy Moscow.

• Phil Jackson joins Jeanie Buss on “Dog Whisperer“.

• Ernie Banks wishes that the Tribune Company hadn’t have fired all their proofreaders.

• Donnie Walsh is coming in to solve half of the Knicks’ problems.

• Colin Montgomerie wonders why The Masters hate white people.