• Ana Ivanovic gets bounced from the second round of the U.S. Open by the 188th-ranked player in the world.

Well, at least Ana is still an alluring eyeful.

• A jerk who jotted down racist emails to Derek Jeter will be jammed into a jail cell for the next four years.

• Guess Beijing wasn’t the only Olympics to have pseudo-realistic ceremonies - isn’t that right, Sydney Symphony Orchestra?

• One Florida Gators running back doesn’t find his sex ed classes all that stimulating.

• Adios, Chad Johnson - Bienvenidos, Chad Ocho Cinco!

• If you ever tell this English rugby star to “get a grip“, better make sure your athletic supporter is fully secured.

• Jose Canseco will appear on an upcoming episode of “The Moment of Truth”. To quote Lisa Simpson, “The Fox Network has hit a new low.”

• The new Michael Phelps-less Olympic Wheaties boxes are here!

• A recently called-up Yankees pitcher chooses his uni number to honor his favorite athlete - Dennis Rodman?!?

• What’s it gonna take for Tampa Bay baseball fans to show up & support their AL East-leading Rays?