It’s Come to This: NASCAR’s Gone Medieval On Us

A gathering of like-minded enthusiasts coalescing from faraway lands and camping out to see gladiators duke it out on a vast battlefield where one wrong twist can send the warrior or his steed to their death: is that a NASCAR race or the Renaissance Faire?  It depends; which one charges an insane amount for tickets?

Aarons 499 crash at Talladega

(Admit it: this pileup would be even more awesome with horses)

One scholar has posited that NASCAR has become the latter-day jousting tournament, taking the place of the sport lost to time once hand-to-hand combat disappeared in favor of gunplay, a la Indiana Jones. Of course, this can logically lead to only one conclusion, disturbing as it may be: Digger is the modern incarnation of Merlin.

Let’s go racin’, forsooth?

The event nature, the traveling show, the peasantry gathering… you could apply the same notion to a UFC event or boxing before it.  Also, as FREEDARKO will say after cringing and flinging 1500 words and six free association photos at you for belaboring the “basketball is jazz” meme, be careful with your metaphors.

On the other hand, this may finally explain the metal plates screwed into the undercarriages of jousting horses in a few curious locations across western Europe: restrictor plates.  After all, rubbin’ poles is just racin’.

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