If you haven’t seen the following photos from this weekend’s 99.9 KISS-FM Chili Cookoff in Florida, well, brace yourself. You’re about to see a side of Jessica Simpson you never knew — and probably didn’t want to know — existed. It turns out that, just as Jess is bringing Tony Romo’s career down, he seems to be transforming her into a beluga whale.
(My, how Jessica has grown)
Seriously, look at that picture again. The once voluptuous Ms. Simpson is now, well, fat. She really is, and she looks worse the more you look at these photos from the blog JUST JARED. And she’s not helping matters by wearing an entire outfit that doubles as a Civil War era garter corset … with two belts on top. Not only is that a fashion faux pas, it accentuates her pudge.
Is it any huge surprise that the Cowboys gunslinger didn’t want to make that public appearance with her this weekend? We can’t blame him. After all, remember what he was signing up for in the past, as tons of photos after the jump show.
Now this Jess was hot:
This one? Not so much.
So what happened? The sudden weight gain is pretty stunning. It’s understandable that, while spending a lot more time hanging with the Cowboys quarterback, Jess may have put on a few more pounds. After all, one can only burn so many calories through amorous activity, and that hardly makes up for hours on the elliptical.
The transformation is eerily similar to the ones that took over the bodies of Anna Nicole Smith and Mike Tyson in recent years. The only difference this time is that we’re on to it sooner. With Anna Nicole, you didn’t know she was entering her “blimp phase” until she reached the point you see on the right frame in the photo below. With Tyson, it was part of a larger adjustment of bizarre physical changes. After all, an eye tattoo without a massive weight gain is just an eye tattoo. Package the two together, and you’ve got a metamorphosis.
So what will Jessica Simpson look like when this process is through? Who knows, but we think it needs to be stopped. Now.
We have two concerns about the future of Ms. Simpson, because we feel that this really could be a turning point in maintaining her spot on the pantheon of hot pop singers. First, she’s got to get rid of whoever told her to wear that outfit. Seriously. We have no fashion sense whatsoever, and it’s still the worst look we’ve ever seen. And secondly, she has got to stay the heck out of Florida. Is it any surprise that she shows up in the Gator state and this happens? No. It’s no coincidence at all. Florida just does that to you. Everyone walks around with a glaze of sweat and fat emanating out of your body, and unless your a model in Miami Beach, that is not a good thing. Guess what? Jess is no model anymore, whether she wants to hear it or not.
Then again, maybe this is all the result of Jess’s Sim-pathy (get it? Sim-pathy? OK, we’re sorry. We’re leaving, we promise) for her sister Ashley’s post-pardem baby tummy. If so, it’s kind of sweet, but we still don’t want to see it.
In fact, we’re willing to bet we’re not the only ones who don’t want to see it. Tony probably doesn’t, either.
8:31 pm on January 26th, 2009
The bigger the cushion, the bigger the pushin'.
8:32 pm on January 26th, 2009
Jessica better hope the new Texas stadium comes with double-wide doors.
8:33 pm on January 26th, 2009
What's the big deal? She now just looks like every other Texan woman.
8:34 pm on January 26th, 2009
Baby got back!
8:40 pm on January 26th, 2009
I happen to like her new curves. Not every attractive woman has to be a beanpole.
8:42 pm on January 26th, 2009
Tony must be quite the cook.
8:43 pm on January 26th, 2009
Jessica must have just discovered the joy that is Whataburger.
8:44 pm on January 26th, 2009
i would still tap it
8:49 pm on January 26th, 2009
She's not fat, she's big-boned.
8:57 pm on January 26th, 2009
Sharp elbows, anyone?
9:03 pm on January 26th, 2009
She's not fat, she's Reubenesque.
9:11 pm on January 26th, 2009
Looks like Jessica was also one of the chili cookoff judges.
9:22 pm on January 26th, 2009
One good thing about Jessica Simpson getting bigger - her breasts get bigger, too.
10:29 pm on January 26th, 2009
"You’re about to see a side of Jessica Simpson you never knew — and probably didn’t want to know" How about SIDES???
BTW - She's now got a great personality.
10:51 pm on January 26th, 2009
She's not fat - it's glandular.
11:00 pm on January 26th, 2009
Better watch what you say about Jessica these days - or she'll sit on you.
12:24 am on January 27th, 2009
well, she's no Carrie Underwood…ok, maybe 2.
7:03 am on January 27th, 2009
She was never good looking any way, she has no figure, what do you guys see in her??? Please if you think she is hot you really need to get out of the house, and come to a florida beach, get back to me, she is texas fugly.
8:42 am on January 27th, 2009
she has a huge GUNT aka FUPA.. for those not fam w/ FUPA..
Fat
Upper
Pu**y
Area
8:59 am on January 27th, 2009
She's on her way out. Romo will cut her if she doesn't make the target weight.
9:55 am on January 27th, 2009
I like big butts and i can not lie, you other brothers can't deny….
10:12 am on January 27th, 2009
Man, what are you looking at? She is not fat at all!
11:26 am on January 27th, 2009
Brooks, you need glasses. She's not fat, she's curvy - I'm fat! Hideously so too! And do you mean to tell me that you wouldn't "toss one" to Jessica?
11:29 am on January 27th, 2009
Now that she's fat, we won't have to hear from her anymore!
11:37 am on January 27th, 2009
oh man she ate tony romo……..
9:21 pm on January 27th, 2009
If only her singing & acting career could blow up so big.
9:23 am on January 28th, 2009
What a break! She is no longer an anorexic–like I was for years! Looks better with a lil weight on her!
2:17 pm on January 28th, 2009
I would tap that just like I tapped your mom!
2:18 pm on January 28th, 2009
btw, did she get the coke bottle out?
3:13 pm on January 28th, 2009
Did any one remind Ole Jessie why she gets paid what she does!!!!!!! Can anyone say Sex symbol out al
7:24 pm on January 28th, 2009
If she'd lose a *little* weight, she'd be awesome. She was hot when she was super skinny, but not THAT hot. She's hot now, but not that hot. It's a parabola… she's got to find a place in the middle to achieve maximum hotness.
3:16 pm on January 29th, 2009
As the late Chris Farley said…"LAY OFF, I'M STARVING"
2:07 pm on January 30th, 2009
dammnn this girl is hot..fat?? please. do you want a skinny anorexic chick as your gf? she is not overweight. it's just because she's not as skinny as she use to be.
11:32 pm on January 30th, 2009
Jessica is not fat. Anna Nicole got seriously fat. So did Tyson. Get a grip, people. Are we all so physically magnificent that we can spend our time taking potshots at young women? It's not like we own her and she let us down. For shame…
10:52 am on January 31st, 2009
Beefcake. BEEFCAKE!!!!
2:05 pm on February 1st, 2009
I agree, she has put on a few pounds, but I would still hit it!
3:02 pm on February 1st, 2009
Looks like Jessica and Mama Obama have something in common. Alot of junk in their trunk.
7:37 am on February 3rd, 2009
who gives a sh*t?
11:20 am on February 4th, 2009
could she be pregnant?
4:21 pm on March 2nd, 2009
yyyyyyyyyyyyy
ooooooooooooooo
uuuuuuuuuuuuu
sssssssssssssssss
ooooooooooooooo
ffffffffffffffffffffffff
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
tttttttttttttttttttt
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
12:32 am on April 27th, 2009
When the FUPA comes, Romo's gonna run.r