Get ready, Redskins fans. The Dallas Cowboys’ burden has now been shifted to you, apparently. Ex-Tony Romo girlfriend Jessica Simpson is, according to one source, dating none other than Washington quarterback Colt Brennan. Will the Nation’s Capital survive? Will Congress have to get involved? This can’t be good for anyone.
STAR MAGAZINE, a totally unimpeachable source in matters such as these, is reporting that the former University of Hawaii star and Simpson have not only set up mutual web cams (awww …), but Brennan has “Fed-Exed her a Redskins jersey.” Hoo boy. Here we go again.
Simpson supposedly tells about it in the pages of her new tell-all book, yet to be released. From STAR’s print edition:
Game on! Jess is flirting her way to a romance with ex Tony Romo’s archenemy — Washington Redskins quarterback Colt Brennan! “This is a huge stab in the back for Tony, because the Dallas Cowboys and the Washington Redskins hate each other,” a source tells Star. “Jessica must really want revenge!”
Colt, 26, began chasing Jessica back in July with sexy e-mails and text messages. The pair even set up webcams so they could chat face-to-face through their computers. And now, “Colt sent Jessica tickets for his Sept. 13 game against the N.Y. Giants,” the source adds. “And on July 31, Colt FedEx’d her a Redskins jersey. If she wears that jersey to the game, you know it means she’s playing rough!”
One indication this is all true: Brennan, the NCAA record holder in career yards passing, played like crap in Washington’s preseason opener against Baltimore on Thursday. He threw an interception and spent most of his time in the game scrambling for his life during the Redskins’ 23-0 loss.
This is also going to come as sobering news to Redskins fans, who have spent much of the past two seasons inventing new ways to taunt Romo for his association with Miss Jessica. What are they going to do with all those masks now?
Seamstresses are feverishly working on a pink Redskins jersey as you read this. Just a taste of what you have in store, Colt: Fumbles in key situations; sudden, unexplained weight gain; falling into ponds and rivers; comical action figures. Plus, lots of fun on Nov. 22! See you there!