We couldn’t be more excited here today in the SPORTSbyBROOKS R&D division. We’ve been working in secret on a new diagnostic device that we feel will alter the course of sports coverage online and we’ve been dying to demonstrate it to the general public. However, we wanted to wait for the right story to debut the tool to make it clear just how it will change the world.
With the news that NBA teams have been sniffing around 7′2″ Iranian basketball player Hamed Ehadadi after seeing him this summer in Salt Lake City and Beijing, we have finally found the appropriate opportunity. SPORTSbyBROOKS is proud to present the KWAME: Kinetic Wave Amplifier for Management Energy.
The KWAME measures the excitement in NBA general managers and head coaches in very tall men with at least a passing interest in the game of basketball. This early warning device will let you know if your favorite team’s management structure will fall for any ol’ giant or if they can resist and hold out for true tall talent.
As we have recently moved close to a certain NBA GM obsessed with tall men and playing The Right Way, we have attached the KWAME to a sensitive area of his anatomy and can show you the device in action. We have added a visual aid to assist in interpreting the complex data that the KWAME gathers; you will be able to clearly see the results below.
Mr. Anonymous GM, we will now tell you a series of facts about a basketball player and your reactions will be recorded on this screen.
Are you ready? Good. Here we go. This basketball player stands seven feet, two inches tall.
Ah, yes. The KWAME is working. Now we have to tell you that he’s Iranian and cannot play in the United States right now because of State Department rules.
Yes, that would be sad. However, David Stern is working with the State Department to get an exception created for this player.
Much better. Now this 7′2″ beast of a man is a little rough around the edges. Frankly, his offensive game could best be described as “hidden as well as Iran’s nuclear program”.
But he is only 23 years old and probably hasn’t received the best big man training in the world…
… and big men develop later than other players…
… and he could open your team’s marketing opportunities overseas like Yao did for China.
We here at SPORTSbyBROOKS will continue to bring you the best new technologies for covering sports news. Stay tuned!