iPhone App Reminds Cubs Fans Their Team Sucks

For generations, the Chicago Cubs have provided the nation with baseball punchlines - think of 1908, Eamus Catuli, Lee Elia, billy goats, Harry Caray, and any number of other Cubs-related names/dates/objects that instantly convey the idea of the “lovable losers” from the North Side. Even the stadium has evolved into a tourist attraction, something to gawk at to take away from the lackluster play on the field. Every year, national and local media alike write long stories about the Cubs’ futility. It’s not something that Cubs fans can forget, even if they tried.

Cubs iPhone App

(The only way this could possibly be any more annoying is if it played Feist songs.)

But in case all the reminders across the city of Chicago and the general sports consciousness weren’t enough…yep, there’s an app for that. Amazingly, software developer Bearded Pony has just released an iPhone app that will constantly remind Cubs fans just how much their team sucks, for the low price of $0.99!

According to the SLANCH REPORT, the sports blog that covers iPhone news so you don’t have to:

How long can the biggest let down for the biggest sports town in America go on? Right now it has been 101 years 1 month 29 days 14 hours 36 minutes and 27, 28, 29 seconds… you get the picture. The Chicago Cubs are the lovable losers of major league baseball. Not only does Northside Clock act as your NIGHT STAND CLOCK and ALARM CLOCK, it also gives you the exact amount of time since October 14, 1908 — the last time the cursed Cubbies won the big one AND acts as a DIRECT NEWS FEED for everything Cubs – the most loved team in MLB.

A DIRECT NEWS FEED on an internet-enabled phone, wow! Someone introduce this guy to the magic of RSS feeds. We’ve translated the rest of the ad for you: “Hey Cubs fans! Pay $0.99 for the privilege of getting a kick in the nuts every time you look at your precious iPhone!” Sadly, knowing the fad-hopping residents of Chicago’s Lakeview neighborhood, this could replace backwards white hats as the next big thing amongst the post-college trust-fund d-bags for whom Cubs fandom is a status symbol rather than a sad, enthusiasm-draining way of life (like White Sox fandom!).