Iowa to US Olympic Gymnast: You’re Like Butter!

Iowa could not be more proud of its little ball of perk, Olympian gymnast Shawn Johnson. She’s favored to win gold in Beijing, so much so that we wouldn’t be surprised to find out Wheaties has already assigned a graphic designer to work on her box. They’ve even started building statues for the 16-year-old lass in the Hawkeye State.

Shawn Johnson in butter

(This guy also worked on Tiger Woods’ knee)

Bronze is fine and all, but Shawn knows she’s truly loved by her fellow Iowans now that they’ve sculpted a life-size version of the pint-sized gymnast in butter, the chosen medium of art installations across the Midwest, just in time for the Iowa State Fair. Once the other gymnasts find out about this, they might as well skip the smog and stay home.

In case you think we jest, ask Shawn’s proud mama:

““I thought the butter Harry Potter last year was cool,” said Shawn’s mother, Teri Johnson. “Butter Shawn will be pretty cool, too.””

Butter Shawn should totally be one of the superhero forms she can turn into. She could spy on people in steakhouses and at state fairs.


“Johnson will join an elite butter list that includes Tiger Woods, Elvis, Grant Wood’s “American Gothic,” Leonardo da Vinci’s “Last Supper,” actor John Wayne and country singer Garth Brooks.”

Yes, those really happened.

Last Supper, soaked in butter

(mmm… blasphemous)

We look forward to next year’s rendition of “Guernica“.