Iowa Coach’s Son Caught w/Alcohol, Suspended

According to the DES MOINES REGISTER, University of Iowa football players have racked up 19 citations for various shenanigans over the last 18 months.  That’s quite the thumb in the eye for head coach Kirk Ferentz, who has battled to restore some bit of order to youthful indiscretions by the bushelful.

Drunk Hawkeye

(Drunk Hawkeye)

Needless to say, it did not help his case that he was making progress when his 19-year-old redshirt freshman center progeny had alcohol in his possession when the car he rode in was pulled over by police at 1:30 am Friday.  Thanks, son, for making it a nice round 20!  Look forward to more community service than Mother Teresa.

We’re not kidding about that saintly service:

James Ferentz will be required to attend counseling sessions and fulfill “substantial community service obligations over the next six weekends,” his father said in the statement. “I realize this is a severe penalty, but it’s just, given our current circumstances.”

Those circumstances?  You might have just cost Dad the job that got you the education, the spot on a Big 10 team, and the beer.  Nice work, kid!  We wouldn’t hold it against Kirk if he made Jimmy run laps until a rut formed on the track.  And then made Jimmy fix the track.  With a gardening shovel, tar painfully extracted from Slovenian cigarettes, and an iron.