Indian Tennis Star to Enter Into Arranged Marriage

To those who thought they had a chance with Sania Mirza, sorry fellas - you’re too late. The Indian tennis sensation is no longer on the market, as she has announced that she’s getting married.

Sania Mirza's big boobs

(Maybe not quite up to Simona Halep standards, but still a nice set)

Well, it’s actually her family that announced Sania’s upcoming nuptials. And they might as well, since they’re the ones that arranged the whole thing.

RIGHTFIELDERS informs us from THE TIMES OF INDIA that Sania has been betrothed to Sohrab Mirza (no relation), a fellow citizen of Sania’s hometown of Hyderabad whose parents own a successful fast-food franchise in the city.

Sania Mirza Im Cute No Shit shirt

(The shirt doesn’t lie)

And it seems the engagement didn’t have to deal with such trivial matters as actually falling in love:

As the story goes, the families of Sania and Sohrab have been friends for years. They discussed the proposal some time back and agreed.

However, no actual wedding date has been set. Sania still wants to keep playing, while Sohrab is off to the UK to pursue his MBA. But such talk of tying the knot must have been too distracting to Sania, who made an early exit from the French Open earlier this week.

Sania Mirza

Then again, maybe the marriage will work out in the end for the Mirzas. After all, Apu & Manjula Nahasapeemapetilon seem to be doing okay with their pre-arranged union. Just be careful not to place any Indian flags too close to the footstools.