Indian Cricketer To Be Hailed As A God - Literally

OK, what’s weirder: That SbB is running a cricket story? Or that we’ve actually run a story on this specific cricketer before?

Mahendra Singh Dhoni

You might remember Mahendra Singh Dhoni from that time he hired a bunch of female commandos to protect him from overzealous female admirers. I thought that was the pinnacle of popularity, but I neglected to consider deification. Fans in India are building a temple devoted to him, and will hereforth worship him as a god.

Considering there are over 330,000 gods in the Hindu pantheon, the inclusion of the Indian captain isn’t as farfetched as, say, naming Brett Favre the new Jesus. But it’s still a nice honor. I wonder if there’s a performance clause in his contract covering this.

A white marble statue of the sports star will be the centrepiece of the temple when work starts next month in his home town of Ranchi, eastern India.

Relief carvings of the player in action will also look down on disciples as they pay homage to his success in restoring the country’s cricketing reputation.

“Dhoni is God to cricket and we have decided to construct a temple. He will be worshipped like other gods are worshipped in temples,” explained Jitendra Singh, president of Dhoni’s fan club.

Now I’m sure we all know that Hanuman, the monkey-god, is the avatar of humility. But Dhoni might be in the running for that too.

He has expressed doubts about being worshipped by his disciples: “I love my fans but this is actually a little over the top,” he said.

Ya think, your holiness?