SbB@3: Let He Who Is Without Sin Throw 3 TDs

Some Web sites offer you “insider” information on which teams to put money on during the week’s big football games. But only Sports by Brooks has the ultimate insider: Jesus Christ. That’s right, each week Our Lord and Savior will descend from Heaven to offer His insight into the week’s top games. And with over 60 percent of all college and NFL players attributing their success to Him, no one is more qualified to pick winners.

jesus christ, sports handicapper

I know a lot of people wrote into me (bigbettinjc@godmail.com) to give me grief for going 2-3 last weekend. To the people who doubt my wisdom, I can just say that this is a journey and not a short trip. Or as Proverbs 19:11 says, “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.” So instead of asking how your picks did, we’ll just use our knowledge gleaned from last week’s games to make better picks.

Florida @ Kentucky (+21.5)

This is a valuable lesson for Florida coach Urban Meyer after his comments following the Gators’ win over Tennessee:

“Though his pride reaches to the heavens and his head touches the clouds, he will perish forever, like his own dung; those who have seen him will say, ‘Where is he?’” - Job 20:6-7

Believe me, it’s not like I have a ton of sympathy for Lane Kiffin: anyone who lands a wife like his should be appreciative of the bounty he’s received. But Meyer coaches the most powerful team in the country and Tennessee is…well, Tennessee. If Meyer thought that he had issued with the flu last week, he might want to see how he plays with the offensive line having caught leprosy.

Layla Kiffin Orange Dress Before UCLA Tennessee Game Sept 12 2009

(Sometimes the Lord works in awesome ways, like when He made Layla Kiffin.)

I’ll have my close, personal friend Tim Tebow talk to him. Until then, maybe it’s time for a little scare to humble him up a bit.

Jesus Picks: Kentucky (+21.5)

Michigan State @ Wisconsin (-3)

I was pleased to hear Michigan State QB Kirk Cousins issue this statement after the Spartans lost to Notre Dame last week:

“I’ve got a faith. Football’s not my foundation, it’s not my identity. My faith is Jesus Christ and He’s not changing anytime soon. I’ll keep trusting in Him and in His plan and just move on.”

Becasue I’ll be pretty honest about something: when athletes praise me when they win but ignore me when they lose, I tend to shut them out. Permanently. I’ll stick with you through the good times and the bad, so don’t forget about me when you lose a game. I’m full of love for everyone, but also kind of vengenful (I get that from my dad). Let me remind them of a god passage from the Bible (available at all bookstores and Amazon.com):

“Therefore, among God’s churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring.” - 2 Thessalonians 1:4

See? It’s important to stay true to your faith and your true self despite any setbacks you might endure. It’s these very trials that give you the inner-strength to succeed in the future. For that reason alone, I’m taking Michigan State this week. Plus, they’ve covered this game the last three years, and I think Wisconsin’s pass defense is vulnerable. (What, you thought this picks were just from the heart?)

Jesus Picks: Michigan St. (+3)

California @ Oregon (+5.5)

“When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.” - Luke 21:28

It was just the start of the season when Oregon was considered a national title contender. Then, in the span of one bad loss and one player losing his way, they were considered to be a disaster, comparable to Sodom and Gomorrah before its destruction.

But the Ducks did not take the coward’s way out. Instead, they continued to work hard to find a path towards redemption. And they found that path last week when they beat Utah. I believe this innter strength will carry them through the dark times against Cal, and also help them find a way to shore up the interior of their defense against the Bears’ mighty running game.

Plus, you have to love the home underdogs.

Jesus Picks: Oregon (+5.5)

Washington State @ USC (-46)

“Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts.” - Psalm 46:6

I know that everyone wants to declare USC’s Pac-10 dynasty over after they lost to Washington this week. But the truth is that they are blessed with a powerful leader in Pete Carroll. At times, I wonder if he’s a bit too powerful - perhaps he’s coming a bit too much like the false idols I’ve talked about in the past. But the reality is that he gets results through a positive attitude, which I can always get behind.

Plus, I know that the meek shall inherit the Earth, but I didn’t say anything about the incompetent doing anything but residing in the conference cellar. Washington State talking about building new luxury suites in this economy with their team means they are clearly victims of the worst type of envy imaginable.

Jesus Picks: USC (-46)

New Mexico State @ New Mexico (-10)

“Then He said, ‘What have you done? Your brother’s blood cries out to Me from the ground!’ - Genesis 4:10

I’ve seen a lot of blood feuds in my day. In fact, I saw the very first one between Cain and Abel, and frankly I’m still not sure what that was all about. Needless to say, it’s just stupid and wrong, and it always causes me great pain to see brothers or sisters fighting with each other.

Unless it’s a college football rivalry, in which case I say the nastier the better. And most people don’t realize that there are few that are more heated than New Mexico versus New Mexico State. I was in Albuquerque a few years ago while this game was going on (I was in town to work a few miracles, plus get some Indian fry bread), and it rivaled anything you would see in the SEC. Which is pretty impressive, since one team was average and the other was terrible.

I know that New Mexico State has been hit with the football equivalent of a plague of locusts in recent years. But I’m also not a fan of lust either, and if the New Mexico coach is talking to the media about making sure his players don’t “shoot their load too early,” then I’m going to have a get a ball of smiting ready for the Lobos.

Jesus Picks: New Mexico State (+10)