I guess they have coaches for everything, but Iâ€™ve never really heard of a youth bowling coach. The closest thing I could think of to a bowling coach was Woody Harrelson as Roy Munson in â€śKingpin,â€ť and I donâ€™t think you would have wanted his character within 500 feet of children of any age.
Then again, it might not have been a worse choice than Robert Lauesen, whose 30-year career as a youth bowling coach is probably over after the CHICAGO DAILY HERALD reports that he’s been arrested on charges of child molestation after his “Munsoned” his attempt to get an extra eyeful of some of his teenage pupils on a camping trip over the weekend, thanks to not locking his door.
Apparently, Lauesen had more than just his student’s bowling form on his mind when he took a group of them on a camping trip to a camp site near Sublette, IL. When he left to go into his town, he made the mistake of leaving the door to his camper unlocked…along with the videos he had been secretly making of the kids undressing, showering and then getting dressed again. If you’re going to be a pervert, you would think you would at least want to invest in a lock or something.
Confession time: I was a pretty good bowler as a kid, even finishing in the Top 10 in California State Championships. And while I had help from one of the guys who ran the local bowling alley, there is no way in Hell that my parents would have let me go camping with him for the weekend, nor would I have wanted to go. Tips for getting more ball roll? Sure. But these are people who travel the country following Lynyrd Skynyrd shows, and take a week off of work because the fair is in town. These are not people to trust your kids with.
Just to show you where Lauesen stood in the world of suburban Chicago bowling, he had just been elected to a three-year term as president of the Suburban Windy City USBC, although a United States Bowling Congress representative has said he’s been removed from the position. I’d hate to see what his campaign slogan was. “Lauesen Knows His Balls”?