NFL TE Utecht Wants To Soft Rock You For Christ

Athletes trying to become musicians is hardly new, as anyone who has seen or heard Terry Bradshaw’s attempts to become a country star in the 1970s can attest. But Bengals tight end Ben Utecht - previously¬†known as “that Colts TE who isn’t Dallas Clark” - is going for a different audience: the Christian rock set. Well, not so much “rock” as “pop rock” - think less Creed and more D.C. Talk.

Ben Utecht

CM SPIN says that Utecht has released his eponymous debut album with the intent of spreading joy and his Christian faith. And I used the word “attempt” because listening to some of the tracks available on his Web site, I simply have this to say: I’ve heard Stryper, I’ve seen Stryper, and you, sir, are no Stryper.

It’s all pleasant enough, I guess, but whether you are a person of faith or a non-believer, everyone pretty much has to agree that the lyrics are pretty bland and boring. Even CM SPIN - in what is essentially a vanity piece - admits as much, even if they try to put a positive spin on it:

“But for all you are and all you’ve done, I give you all of me.” - Ben Utecht in “Yours”

Timing is everything.

Sure, it’s a cliche, but like many that often take residence across a car’s bumper, it’s a cliche because it just happens to be true.

Yes, but just because I shouldn’t be a-knockin’ because the van’s a-rockin’ doesn’t mean I should write a song about it (although I believe that might have been a hit for David Allen Coe back in the 1970s).¬† I can’t wait for his follow up song, “My Child Was Student of the Month at Fairlane Middle School.”

Then again, even if his album is sub-Michael W. Smith, perhaps I should feel sorry for Utecht. After all, he went from the bastion of morality that is the Indianapolis Colts and playing for his fellow Christian crusader Tony Dungy to the Cincinnati Bengals, pretty much Sodom and Gomorrah brought to life on the football field. I can’t imagine these songs are going to be getting a lot of playing time in the Bengals’ locker room.