The Tampa Bay Rays mascot is Raymond, which is…well, not a Ray of any kind (Devil or otherwise). He’s sort of a blobby purple fellow with a white mustache. He’s officially described as a “Seadog,” but I have no idea what that means. To me, he sort of like Grover from Sesame Street crossed with Youppi, the former Montreal Expos mascot.
Whatever the hell he is, now is your chance to step into his giant shoes: the ST. PETERSBURG TIMES is reporting that the Rays are looking for a new person to take over the role of Raymond for the upcoming season. Technically, the online job listing is for a Mascot/Marketing and Game Entertainment Coordinator, but we all know what you’ll really be doing: sweating like it’s July in a Thai prison inside a huge, uncomfortable suit.
As you would expect for such a high-powered position, there are many stringent requirements and job qualifications, including being able to…
“…take on the brand and personality of Raymond, including but not limited to the signature ‘belly-wiggle’, energetic dance moves, quirky antics, and the love for kids, families and the Rays.”
I once did something close to the signature “belly wiggle”, but that was after about 24 beers tailgating at a USC game. Unfortunately, it was not my belly that I was wiggling, and the subsequent legal action and restraining orders taught me a valuable lesson that day.
Another job qualification is experience with “costume maintenance,” so if you are a Furry who knows how to get out tricky stains after a wild night of fun, this could be the job for you.
No salary is listed, but come on: this job is about more than the money. It’s about the thrill of entertaining a fan base that is sure to dwindle as the Rays slide back to obscurity this year. Look at it this way: with 15,000 fans at the games instead of 40,000, it’s a lot less likely that some drunk will sucker punch you from behind!