I had my car stereo broken into back when I was in high school, and I was furious. Technically, it wasn’t a car stereo, but a giant boom box (the size you might see during a scene in Beat Street). And it wasn’t really my car, either - it was my Dad’s Buick. Needless to say, I was quite a hit with the ladies.
The point is that I would have paid good money to catch the lowlifes who broke into the car while I was at the movies. So I can sympathize with Floyd Mayweather Jr., who according to KVBC-TV in Las Vegas, is offering a $100,000 reward for information about stuff taken from his home during a robbery last month. The difference between him and I, though, is that while my “stuff” could be bought at K-Mart for around $50, his “stuff” is jewelry estimated to be worth $7 million.
As LARRY BROWN SPORTS points out, the astonishing fact is that he had $7 million in jewelry laying around his crib in the first place. I literally cannot fathom what that amount of jewelry looks like. It’s as if the entire cast of Dynasty spontaneously combusted, and all that was left was their diamonds (and maybe their shoulder pads as well).
At this rate, it might be another two or three robberies before Mayweather has to wrestle for another five or ten minutes to earn enough money to replace his stolen bling. Speaking of which, I think I have a hot lead on the case. Remember the guy you hit with the brass knuckles at Wrestlemania? You might want to check to see if there were any Size 22 footprints near the crime scene.
You’re welcome, Pretty Boy. And feel free to send the $100,000 check any time.