Until now, the only thing the state of Idaho has ever been known for was potatoes. Delicious, delicious potatoes. Supermarkets across the country have their shelves filled with wonderful Idaho potatoes, and you’ve probably eaten one yourself recently. I wonder if they have a guy who checks every potato and inspects it to make sure it’s up to Idaho potato standards. If they do, I wonder if he’s ever found one potato to be too sexy.
You see, in Idaho, they don’t just take their potatoes seriously. No, they also care about their football team at the University of Idaho. Earlier this season the school made a change to the football team’s uniforms when players and fans alike complained that the “I” located on everybody’s butt looked stupid.
They were right, they did look stupid. Well now it seems the power has gone to people’s heads in Idaho, as now they’ve ditched the cheerleaders uniforms because they’re “too skimpy.”
“A number of fans were concerned that the uniforms were inappropriate,” said Bruce Pitman, dean of students. “To be fair, there were a number of fans who liked them.”
The outfits that drew controversy, halter tops and short black skirts with white trim, were similar to what an NFL cheerleader might wear, Pitman said.
“I’m not quite sure what will happen to them,” he said.
Now I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the school is located in a town called Moscow, and it’s pretty clear the communist ideals that no doubt inspired such a name have caused this to happen. What we need is to send some Marines into Idaho and remind the locals that in America, we prefer cleavage and short shorts.
Oh, and I’m sure that the school’s cheerleaders loved hearing this quote from their own squad advisor, Shelly Robson, explaining the decision to ditch the current uniforms.
“Girls are just bigger these days, not everybody’s a size zero,” Robson said. “We’re not being a bunch of prudes.”
Hear that, girls? It’s not that the uniforms are too revealing, as much as it’s you’re all too fat. If you would hit the gym once in a while, or put down that chocolate covered potato, you’d look much better in them and people wouldn’t complain.