Ian Ferris’ Day Off: The Great Fenway Grass Caper

This is a tale of a dedicated Yankees fan, a Phish concert, contraband smuggled inside of a man’s pants, and of course a Vermont “Hooters.” It all adds up to a baseball prank which is either brilliantly inspired or monumentally stupid,  or perhaps both.

Ian Ferris

Meet Ian Ferris, a Yankees fan who has been gnashing his teeth ever since a Red Sox fan attempted to curse the Yankees by burying a David Ortiz jersey within the new Yankee Stadium during its construction in 2007. (How’s that jinx working out, by the way?). Determined to get his revenge, Ferris devised a diabolical plot; with the relevant elements pictured above. 

On May 31, Ferris attended a Phish concert at Fenway Park, and set his plan into motion.

Yankee Stadium grass seeds went on sale this year. Ferris hid the seeds in his pants as he entered Fenway, filled the bag with water and tossed it onto the infield.

“This is payback,” said Ferris, who manages a Hooters in Vermont. “If even one blade of grass sprouts on the field, I feel it was a success.”

Well, not exactly how George Toma would have done it, but it will have to suffice.

We’ll end this by saying that Red Sox Nation was not amused (classy touch: Calling a Yankee-themed SUV “the douchemobile”). They have since hired Spider-Man to exact revenge.