How to Lose a 12-Point Football Lead in 5 Seconds

The Minnesota high school football season is headed toward the playoffs right now. And when you think of great states for high school football, you know, Minnesota’s where it’s at, right? For sure. Anyway, St. Paul Johnson led St. Paul Central 18-6 with five seconds to go Wednesday night. And as with all stories about large leads with small amounts of time to go, it all crashed down.

Terrible D

First, the Minutemen were on the Governors’ 36 with–wait, Minutemen? Governors? Is this Minnesota or Boston? Anyway, the (sigh) Minutemen scored on a bomb with five seconds to play, biffed the extra point, and you know what, let’s just go to the video after the break.

Yeah, that’s the worst prevent defense I’ve ever seen. If you don’t feel like watching the video, St. Paul Central biffed both their extra points (since this is still high school) and sent the game to OT. They scored there, made their kick, then held, and I guess that means they’re city champions.

Now look. Watching that tape again, some of these kids are small like the Rugrats, man. It’s like that highlight of the 90-something-lateral play from D-III ball last year. How are you going to tell me this was some great athletic achievement? Look at those people out on that field! You’re going to see Calvin and Hobbes before you see Calvin Johnson. And sure, I feel sorry for that kid up top who was running away from the receiver when he caught that tying touchdown… but not sorry enough to not posterize him. Kid might want to take a couple sick days to close out the week, because I guarantee you he fits comfortably inside a locker and there’s a lot of people who want to see that happen.

If you’re a true masochist, you can subject yourself to the entire game at this link, or you can also just watch the endgame highlights again instead.