How to Filter Out Dick Vitale. No, Seriously!

There are certain broadcasters that make the sports they cover completely unbearable — Tim McCarver, Joe Morgan, Paul Maguire, and Larry Merchant immediately come to mind.

In the world of college basketball, the market is cornered by Dick Vitale, whose maddening inanities come through the TV at 1000 decibels no matter how low your the volume is set.

But a magical discovery by a genius Duke grad (natch) will allow college basketball fans to watch ESPN broadcasts without the risk of self-injury.

Dick Vitale

The method leaves the viewer with nothing but the sounds of “sneakers squeaking on the hard wood, the crowd shouting, and the occasional PA announcement.”

It’s gonna be awesome, baby, with a capital A!