How Did They Ever Find That Genius Spiezio?

By now, most people know of Scott Spiezio’s arrest for DUI, assault and property damage from his escapades of December 30th, and his subsequent release from the Cardinals.

But we might not have, if not for a few adroit police officers who saw through Spezio’s diabolical plan of hiding in the closet when the cops arrived, as was detailed by the ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH.

“After allegedly wrecking his car and beating up a friend, Scott Spiezio is believed to have hidden in a closet as his wife told police he was asleep in bed with pneumonia, according to court documents.

“Spiezio and his wife, Jennifer Spiezio, went to dinner Dec. 30 at Ruth’s Chris Steak House in Irvine. There, the player allegedly had six Grey Goose vodkas with cranberry juice while his wife drank champagne. After dinner, they went to Ten, a restaurant in Newport Beach, where together they ordered more vodka, food and an energy drink.

“Spiezio could not be reached for comment. The message on his phone’s voice mail says, ‘Things are a little crazy right now.’”

Nice try, Scott. If only you had hid in the crawl space. That got me through many a crisis growing up, that’s for sure.

And why do I have the feeling that that voice mail could have been recorded at any point in Scott’s life?