Have you been watching the French Open? No, of course you haven’t been watching it. But maybe you’ve been hearing it. Specifically, one match yesterday where one player’s grunts were so loud, she was warned by the umpire, felt the wrath of the crowd, and ended up in tears.

Grunting is normal in women’s tennis, if still a little jarring. But what Portuguese 16-year-old Michelle Larcher de Brito does isn’t “grunt.” “Shriek” is closer, but still not right. There’s no word in the English language for the poodle-in-heat/strangling-a-cat ejaculations from Larcher de Brito.

Video, but more importantly, audio, after the jump.

“I’ve been doing it ever since I started playing tennis,” a red-eyed Larcher de Brito said at her postmatch news conference.

Not a good enough excuse for her opponent yesterday, Aravane Rezai. She complained to the umpire, Mohamed el-Jennati.

“Please, there is a limit, enough,” she said to Jennati. When Jennati did not address the issue, Rezai requested that a referee come on court.

The Grand Slam supervisor Donna Kelso appeared and consulted with Jennati, who later informed Larcher de Brito that she was distracting her opponent.

“I said to the umpire, you know, he doesn’t tell Maria to keep quiet,” Larcher de Brito said, referring to Sharapova.

Ahh yes, that other famous grunter of women’s tennis. Why, if you close your eyes, and listen to Maria Sharapova’s squeals during a match, you could almost imagine…

Well, never mind. Here’s a montage of Sharapova grunting. You’re welcome.