Hot Nets Dancer Claims Lineage To Abe Lincoln

One usually doesn’t associate President’s Day with “sexy,” unless you happen to have some sort of Zachary Taylor fetish. (And if you do, please go back to your Taylor/Millard Fillmore slash fiction, thanks.) But NBC NEW YORK has found a way to make your three-day weekend a little hotter: Meet Bonnie Lincoln, New Jersey Nets dancer and the alleged direct descendant of Abraham Lincoln.

Bonnie Lincoln Nets dancer

I’ll have to admit that I was pretty skeptical of her claims - anyone with the last name “Lincoln” could say they are related to our 16th President. Plus, have you seen pictures of the guy? As they would have said back in the day, he definitely had a face made for telegraphs.  It’s difficult to imagine that even 200 years of thinning out of his gene pool could wind up producing a hot NBA cheerleader.

But Lincoln has proof. Specifically, she has a piece of wood that she claims came from Lincoln’s log cabin. You know, the one where he grew up, walking 30 miles each way to go to school before return home to work 18 hours chopping down cherry trees and splitting logs, pausing only to wrestle the occasional bear for sport?

So that should settle any claims about her heritage. Any more questions? Watch this video and prepare to get a crash course in Abraham Lincoln history:

I mean, if she wasn’t a direct descendant of Lincoln, how could she possibly know that he “was one of the greatest presidents in our history” and that “we have so much to be thankful for because of him“? That’s the kind of knowledge that you only get by having emancipation running through your blood.

Bonnie Lincoln Nets dancer

According to her official profile, along with dancing, Bonnie Lincoln is also in law school (following in her relative’s footsteps). Perhaps she should also be spending some type brushing up on her history, or at least her genealogy, since the last direct descendant of Abraham Lincoln died in 1985. Maybe she a sort of direct descendant, or there’s some weird family tree branches that don’t branch (some kind of reunification with Lincoln’s Southern brothers and sisters, literally).

Bonnie Lincoln Nets dancer

But we can’t deny that she’s a hot NBA dancer with a piece of wood and the last name Lincoln.